We often think of mindfulness as something we do when we sit still and close our eyes or if we engage our senses through sight, noises, smell, touch and taste.
Those who have engaged in psychological therapies for common ailments such as anxiety, stress, depression or just general overwhelm will know of the coping strategy involving the use your senses, including noticing what you can see, what you hear, touch and something you can smell etc. This is an excellent grounding tool when we feel overwhelmed.
Stress, anxiety and overwhelm can a lot of the time be caused by our interactions with others. So what if we could practice being fully present with one another?
Mindfulness is especially worth unpacking when it comes to our relationships. Relational mindfulness strategies will help reduce stress, anxiety and improve our interactions with others.
Bringing conscious awareness, attention and presence to our friendships, marriages, partners, children, work colleagues and even new acquaintances is ‘relational mindfulness’.
Relational mindfulness can be defined as the practice and cultivation of being present, conscious and aware in an engaged person to person relational context. This means mindful awareness of our internal states and also observing what our words and behaviours do to others.
Examples include actively listening to our partner and being willing to understand, and responding in a genuine rational way. It involves engaging in meaningful conversations with friends and speaking with authenticity from the heart. (In other words, staying true to your values and morals)
Another example is taking the time to connect with a young child through play in their world without imposing your own agenda. It could also be showing appreciation for a work colleagues’ contributions or being thoughtful of the way you communicate your concerns when you need to address an issue at work.
In summary, it’s about being present, attentive and aware of your own thoughts and emotions whilst also being attuned to the experience of others that is often differing to our own.
Using mindfulness in our relationships matter as it enhances our ability to tolerate tension, conflicts, failures and negative emotions. It also increases our capacity for appreciation, empathy and understanding which are all crucial for the formation, development and sustaining of healthy relationships.
Ways to be Mindful in Personal Relationships – Partners, Children, Family Relatives
Mindful listening: Give your full attention to a person, even if it means pausing your own agenda (yes put the phone down) or thoughts to fully hear and comprehend what they are saying.
Mindful Communication: Speak authentically from your heart with well-timed responses, and bring conscious awareness to your thoughts and emotions while communicating.
Mindful Presence: Being present in the moment with a partner, child, friend or family member, whether through shared activities, conversations or simply just being there. Some circumstances don’t always require dialogue.
Mindful Appreciation: Expressing gratitude for others and recognising their contributions and perspectives whilst also honouring your own.
Ways to be Mindful in the Workplace
Mindful Interactions: Being present and attentive during interactions with work colleagues, team mates, customers and management. This fosters a sense of connection.
Mindful Collaboration: Collaborate with an open mind, showing appreciation for diverse perspectives and actively listening to different points of view.
Mindful Feedback: Provide feedback that is both constructive and thoughtful of the persons feelings and needs.
Individuals who are relationally mindful have the ability to connect and feel connected to others. They tend to notice the good not just the great things. They show gratitude, and are able to work through problems longer without shutting down and feel comfortable about conflict resolution.
Relational mindfulness is about waking up in the moment. It starts with noticing what others are saying and doing then what you are feeling and thinking. If you are connecting with a child it’ s doing so with no judgement or agenda and providing guidance and support when necessary. At first its uncomfortable and different. It takes effort and responding with intention takes practice. With continued awareness and effort one day you may realise you’re no longer stuck with feeling overwhelmed, judged by others or stressed- you’re showing up differently.
Reach out today if you would like to improve your ability to become more aware in the moment when it comes to relating with another person. Improving and repairing fractured relationships with others through becoming more consciously aware takes practice.
Building your relational capacity and transferring this into your daily routine is a great investment to make.